QUARANTINE BLOG # 472

July 15, 2021

Declaring Venice’s waterways a “national monument,” Italy is banning mammoth cruise liners from sailing into the lagoon city, which risked being declared an imperiled world heritage site by the United Nations.  The ban will take effect August 1. It applies to the lagoon basin near St. Mark’s Square and the Giudecca Canal, which is a major marine artery in Venice.

The 94,400 ton MSC Orchestra is shown in the Canal, with St. Mark’s Square to the port – left – side of the ship, on June 3, 2021. 

To be put on the imperiled world heritage site list would mean that the UN’s World Heritage Committee would devise and adopt ways to correct the problem, effectively taking it out of Italy’s and Venice’s hands.  Culture Minister Dario Franceschini said the government decided to act fast “to avoid that concrete risk,” ending years of debate and foot-dragging, while all the time the problem became worse.

👉  Yesterday I wrote about “lightbulb jokes.”  I found a great alternate for how many United Methodists it takes to change a lightbulb.  “Undetermined.  Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved – you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.  Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.  Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.”

👉  Driving on Washington Road here in Augusta, you pass many restaurants and fast food places.  Recently one chicken restaurant was offering a $100 signing bonus for new workers, and a hamburger place had a sign touting $10 an hour to start.

A Texas-based chain of chicken restaurants is doing more – promoting teens to general manager positions that pay more than $50,000 a year in a bid to keep talent amid the current labor shortage.  Garrett Reed, the CEO of Layne’s Chicken Fingers, said, “The biggest challenge for small companies to grow right now is your labor force.  There’s only so much I can pay and remain profitable without raising prices too much.” 

👉  Yesterday I shared “The Rules by the Female” – 15 declarations of life and the way it is, or should be.  And I promised “The Rules by the Male,” but before that list, a blog reader shared with me a plaque that hung in the family dining room, behind his father’s chair.  It read, “Women’s faults are many.  Men have only two, everything they say and everything they do.”  He commented, “I almost felt that my Dad never understood what my Mom was implying by it. [But it is] much less complicated than the fifteen rules.”

Well, with apologies, here is the flip side of yesterday’s list.

The Guys’ Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.  He said, “Finally, the guys’ side of the story.  We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side.  Now here are the rules from the male side.  These are our rules!  Please note... these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!”

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.  You’re a big girl.  If it’s up, put it down.  We need it up, you need it down.  You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports.  It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.  And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!  Strong hints do not work!  Obvious hints do not work!  Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That’s what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.  Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.  Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, monster trucks, or professional wrestling.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that?  It’s like camping.

👉  Here are a few things to think about:

👉  There is one more version of bowling – and a very interesting one at that – to look at before we close this series: Five-pin Bowling.

Five-pin bowling is played in Canada.  It was devised around 1909 by Thomas F. Ryan in Toronto, Ontario, at his Toronto Bowling Club, in response to customers who complained that the ten-pin game was too strenuous.  He cut five tenpins down to about 75% of their size, and used hand-sized hard rubber balls, thus inventing the original version of five-pin bowling.

The five pins arranged in a V, and the pins are worth different scoring point values, depending on their location in the V-formation.  The center pin is worth five points, those on either side, three each, and the outermost pins, two each, giving a total of 15 in each frame.  The unique scoring systems yields a perfect score is 450, requiring 12 consecutive strikes.

If a player fails to score a strike in 10-pin bowling, it is less important how the player chooses to resolve the remaining pins, as all pins are valued the same.  In 5-pin bowling on the other hand, if a player misses a strike, he or she has to make a strategic decision as to which set of remaining pins they should attempt to knock down (beyond simply trying for them all), by aiming for the higher-scoring group of pins, or for the lower but perhaps more easily struck group.  Bowlers are allowed 3 balls per frame.

Here is a 5-pin bowling video featuring Bethany G and Tianna (it has 49,000 views).  Watch the action of the “string pinsetters” (for a time there was a “free fall pinsetter” like the ones used in 10-pins, but because of the expense of manufacturing and maintaining them, they have been discontinued).

👉  Today’s close continues our look into Psalm 119 from Praying with the Psalms, by Eugene H. Peterson.

“This is my comfort in my distress, that your promise gives me life” (Psalm 119:50).

There is a difference between wishing and hoping: a wish is what we think will give us happiness; a hope is what we believe God will do to fulfill our lives.  Wishes are based on human fantasies; hopes are based on God’s promises.

Prayer: Almighty God, I listen to your promises.  Teach me to live in hope.  I want you to perfect your love and complete your redemption in me.  Thank you, O Lord of hope.  Amen.

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