QUARANTINE BLOG # 346

March 11, 2021

I was watching one of the neighborhood kids ride his bike around the cul-de-sac here at the bottom of Woodland Drive, and laughed at something I’ve seen over and over, but on this occasion I really paid attention.  The boy had on a helmet, elbow pads, and knee pads, plus special gloves to grip the handlebars.  My mind was back in the before-time when the Bro and I rode our bikes all over Loch Lynn, up hill and down dale, off of the blacktopped roads, onto dirt roads, and then out into the neighbor’s pasture, and other than our bicycles, we were usually accompanied only by white tube socks, Keds sneakers, and shorts.  Maybe a t-shirt, maybe not.  And here I am 60+ years having survived riding my bike into a creek, crashing it against a tree, and generally just falling off and skinning various exposed body parts.

I know the modern safety equipment is important, but it often prompts a query: “How did we ever survive?”  And then this mental wandering (I’ve often said my mind is too small to be allowed out by itself) led me to toys that we played with, and if they came onto today’s market, they would create a Twitter storm that even 45th President of the United States couldn’t stir up.  Well, maybe.  But anyway, consider these:

Number one: Clackers which was a kids’ version of bolas, a weapon of choice for Argentine gauchos.  Take two solid, heavy, acrylic balls, attach them to a leather string, and swing the balls this way and that, making a loud CLACKING sound when they hit each other.  Occasionally the balls would shatter or crack and pieces would go flying – or you’d just smash yourself in the face with them.  This operator claims the world speed record for Clackers world speed record for Clackers.

Number two: Vac-U-Form by Mattel.  This toy taught kids the industrial process of vacuum forming.  The Vac-U-Form was a metal machine with a hot plate on which you would place a piece of plastic that could be molded into forms such as a plane or a dolphin.  Plug it in, warm it up, and start heating plastic.  In Mattel’s instruction booklet was this all-caps warning: “WHEN YOUR VAC-U-FORM IS NEW, THE HEATING CHAMBER WILL SMOKE FOR 5 TO 10 MINUTES THE FIRST TIME YOU TURN IT ON. THIS IS PERFECTLY NORMAL.”  So you have this smoking, hot toy that melts plastic.  Reckon it could burn the user?

Number three: Sixfinger, an index-finger-looking toy you’d hold in your hand to make it appear as if you had six digits.  And the fake finger could fire projectiles.  “It’s a secret weapon at your fingertip!  Fires cap-loaded bombs and they explode.”  Imagine some kid in 2021 walking into class and pointing his Sixfinger at classmates.  It would explode on unsocial media and be fodder for cable news for days.  Here is the commercial.

If Mom and Dad took those toys away from us, we could ride our bikes (without safety equipment) out to Loch Lynn Elementary School and play on the monkey bars with an inch of sand underneath to cushion our falls, or get the merry-go-round going as fast as possible so we would either throw up or fall off.  We knew how to have fun!

👉  Here are some strips from Baby Blues.  This is a great family!

I have another one for Zoe.  When the umpire misses a call and it goes against your team, shout out, “Come on, Cyclops!  Use your good eye!”  That is my personal favorite, but be judicious.  It’s only good once per game.

👉  One from Shoe:

👉  And one from Calvin and Hobbes:

👉  I’m not sure if this is really good luck or really bad luck.  Tsutomu Yamaguchi was a 29-year-old Naval Engineer on a three-month business trip to Hiroshima.  On August 6, 1945, the Enola Gay dropped its atomic payload on the city.  Yamaguchi was less than 2 miles from ground zero and was thrown into a potato patch.  He survived the blast, and on August 7, he boarded a train on an overnight ride to his hometown of Nagasaki.  On the morning of August 9, he was with some colleagues in an office building when another boom split the sound barrier.  Yamaguchi emerged from the wreckage with only minor injuries on top of his current injuries.  He had survived two nuclear blasts in two days.

👉  Trust the Shepherd.

I came across an interesting research tabulation about worry.  According to the paper,  40% of the things we worry about never happen; 30% of the things we worry about are in the past and can’t be changed by all the worry in the world; 12% of our worries are about our health; 10% are categorized as petty miscellaneous worries; which leaves 9% for other worries.

Pardon my aspersion to be cast upon sheep, but sheep are among the dumbest animals on earth.  They can’t find new pastures, but have to be led to them.  They will drink anything, and often make themselves sick or worse.  And if they get separated from the flock they are totally lost and will get home on their own initiative with only by the purest of chance.

If you think that is rude or mean, try this one – the psalmist said we – humans – are the sheep of God’s pasture (100:3), and Isaiah said, all of us, like sheep, have gone astray (53:6).  God told Ezekiel “Indeed I myself will search for my sheep and seek them out.  As a shepherd seeks out his flock on the day he is among his scattered sheep, so will I seek out my sheep and deliver them from all the places where they were scattered on a cloudy and dark day” (34:11-13).

Jesus said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep . . . I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.” (John 10:7, 11).

Worried?  Trust your Shepherd.

Recite it with me:

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

“He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

“Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Now do those things about which you have been worrying seem smaller and less strong?  Enjoy this musical version of Psalm 23.

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