QUARANTINE BLOG # 620

December10, 2021

NFL nicknames begin today with the Denver Broncos.  Denver was a charter member of the American Football League in 1960 and Broncos, which was submitted along with a 25-word essay by Ward M. Vining, was the winning entry among 162 fans who responded in a name-the-team contest.

Radio executive George A. Richards purchased and moved the Portsmouth Spartans to Detroit in 1934 and renamed the team the Lions.  The nickname was likely derived from Detroit’s established baseball team, the Tigers, who won 101 games and the AL pennant that year.  As the team explained it, “The lion is the monarch of the jungle, and we hope to be the monarch of the league.”

Team founder Earl “Curly” Lambeau’s employer, the Indian Packing Company, sponsored Green Bay’s football team and provided equipment and access to the field.  The Indian Packing Company became the Acme Packing Company and later folded, but the nickname stuck.  The Packers were Skinny Pappy’s other favorite team.

👉  A few clever sayings to start your day:

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

Money is the root of all wealth.

👉  Some visual smiles:

👉  Years ago the late comedian Robin Williams remarked, “Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.”  Never did you think Botox would be substituted for cocaine, and never ever ever never did you think of giving Botox to camels.  That’s right!  Camels!  Unless you are some gozillionaire oil sheik in Saudi Arabia who injects camels at a beauty pageant to try to win a share of a $66 million prize pool.

Folks, I am not making that up.  The Associated Press reported Wednesday that over 40 camels were disqualified from the annual pageant because they received Botox injections and other artificial touch-ups to stretch out the lips and noses of camels, used hormones to boost the beasts’ muscles, injected camels’ heads and lips with Botox to make them bigger, inflated body parts with rubber bands and used fillers to relax their faces.  It seems that camel breeding is a multimillion-dollar industry and cheating is becoming a way of life.  Personally, I don’t know if I could tell a Botoxed camel from a non-Botoxed camel, but evidently some folks can.

👉  More than 82,000 men say they were sexually abused in Scouting, the Boy Scouts of America was found guilty, and the award of $1.9 billion has forced the Scouts into bankruptcy.  Claimants are likely to receive $3,500 each.  That works out to $287 million.  That leaves $1.613 billion unaccounted for – until you realize that one lawyer billed $267,435 in a single month.  Another charged $1,725 for each hour of work.  14 lawyers billing more than $1,000 an hour in a recent court filing.  Contingency agreements typically allow lawyers to receive between about 30 and 40 percent of a judgment.  At 40% that would be $760 million dollars, but at $1,000 per hour and more, it’s the lawyers who are getting rich while bankrupting the Scouts.  One call, that’s all!

Did I tell you about the class action suit I was a part of against eBay Motors?  Unbeknownst to me, I was included in the suit because I bought a set of tail lights for a 1959 Chevrolet during a period of time when the suit was put together.  The settlement amount was $30 million.  Attorneys’ fees were set at 25%.  Brice Yingling and Andy Scott, who filed the initial suit were each awarded $15,000.  My award was, wait for it – 47 cents.  Postage at the time was 44 cents.  My check was in the amount of 3 cents!

👉  After that, we need a few gentle laughs:

👉  And a couple of senior t-shirts:

👉  Today’s close, “Baffled by Abundance,” is from Celebrating Abundance by Walter Brueggemann.

But when they saw him walking on the sea, they thought it was a ghost and cried out; for they all saw him and were terrified. But immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” Then he got into the boat with them and the wind ceased. And they were utterly astounded, for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened (Mark 6:49-52).

Earlier in this text, Jesus has just performed his great drama of abundance. He took the loaves and the fish. He blessed them, he broke them, and he gave them. He did his four big defining verbs: “he took, he blessed, he broke, he gave.” There was enough bread for five thousand men and twelve baskets of surplus. Loaves abound!

But then, as Mark likes to say, “immediately,” they were in a boat with an adverse wind; they were straining at the oars against the wind. He came toward them – this Agent of Abundance – in the middle of the storm. He walked atop the waters, right on the surface of surly chaos. He is the ruler of the chaos that jeopardized them. He surprised them and scared them, because he was not where they expected him to be. They never expected him to glide over chaos. They did not expect to see him amid the storm. They surely did not expect to see him amid chaos that had, until he showed, seemed so threatening.

“Immediately,” he spoke to them. He said, “Have courage!” It is I; do not fear. He spoke the classic assurance of calm, the one Isaiah spoke to the exiles, the one the angels spoke to the shepherds at the birth, the one the angel will speak at the empty Easter tomb, the one every parent speaks in the midst of a child’s nightmare: “Do not be afraid. I am right here.” Do not fear; it is I. I am in the midst of the storm; I who tamed hunger can manage chaos.

Mark adds a verse to explain why the disciples were terrified, why they lacked confidence in him, and why they lacked categories through which to discern his transformative power. They could not understand about the loaves, twelve baskets surplus wrought out of five loaves and a few fish. They could not understand that the lord of abundance had changed everything. And they could not understand because their hearts were hard or dull or obtuse or blind. They were not about to engage in the new reality in front of them.

Well, here is the news. God’s Spirit is at work on heart transplants! God’s Spirit is at work on you and me and all of us, in many ways, relieving us of old hearts that have become too hard to function properly. The God who can produce surplus bread and still storms is the God who can make new our primal organ of humanness. Who would have thought that out of stony hearts there might come peace?

We confess that we are inured to chaos, O God. We are well accustomed to fear and scarcity, and so we do not easily discern your transformative power. Make our hardened hearts supple once again, so that we might be prepared to celebrate the Lord of Abundance. Amen.

-30-