Tomorrow's Blog

October 16, 2018

I’m not sure when you will get this because so far I can’t get gmail or blogspot to respond.  But I will write tonight, because as Ben Haden used to say, “Tomorrow’s blogs never get written.  If they do, they never get posted.”  Or something like that.

I promised you a bow tie story.  For the last several cruises I have been saying I want to buy a bow tie and learn how to tie it (no sense having one if you don’t learn, right?).  Well, a couple weeks before sailing I bought a tie, downloaded instructions from YouTube, and practiced.  It’s much more difficult than the Windsor Knot, but I’m passable. Anyway, last night was formal night and I tied one on.  A tie.

At the end of the instruction video the teacher said, “The best part about tying your own bow tie is people look at it and wonder if you tied it, or if it is a clip on.  At the end of the evening, reach up, grab the two ends, and pull it loose.  Undo your top button and let the tie dangle.  It will be impressive.”  I did.  It was.

And I am easily amused.

My second talk was today on Social Media.  No matter how good my crowds are for my other talks, SM is always the least attended.  I don’t think it’s me – I’m thinking that our cruising crowd (average age 60+) isn’t that into it.  Oh well.  Tomorrow is bananas.

Tonight we went to the comedy club to hear a PG comedian.  He should have been labeled a ZG comedian, or just ZZZZZZs.  In thirty minutes Mom and I laughed once.  And around us people were peeing themselves with laughter.  The only joke that gave us a twitch was his story about shoe shopping with his wife and she asked him if a pair was cute.  He said, “No,” and she went to look for another pair. Then he watched a man approached by his wife who was carrying an ugly pair of shoes and she said, “Honey, are these cute?”  He said, “Yes,” and she gave him a big kiss and went to pay for the shoes.  The comedian said, “Why did you tell her those were cute.  They were UGLY.”  The man replied, “Because I don’t want to stay in this department store until I die.  Cute gets me home.”  I told you it wasn’t all that funny.  Not chuckle worthy.  Not slightly chuckle worthy.  It was barely chuckle worthy.

We left unamused and went up to Deck 12 to play miniature golf.  From experience on the last cruise we knew to bring our own golf balls.  It’s not that they don’t provide them, but Bonnie describes them as wiffle golf balls.  The wind blows them all over the putting surface.  We walked out onto the course and immediately I said, “It’s cold!” (Two of my readers will remember me saying that in a restaurant, but that’s another story).  So we went back to Deck 9 to the Lido Deck, found an empty table, got ice cream, and popcorn (there was a movie on Deck 10 and people were bundled up like Eskimos, but there was free popcorn).  And we played the first game of Rummy of the cruise in the first warm spot I’ve found on board.  And she won.  I didn’t care.  I was warm.

Walking back to our room – from the aft end of the ship to the bow – I told my beloved about a cabin which was decorated with a red ribbon and a yellow ribbon hanging from their mailbox.  I suggested we move the ribbon to the next cabin in either direction to confuse the people when they got home.  Then she said, “We could find ribbon and tie it on all of the mail boxes.”  Then I suggested changing the colors from red and yellow to say, blue and purple.  Then she said WHAT?????  We didn’t need a lame comedian to amuse us – we can do it ourselves.

Well, clocks go back another hour here, so we will be 5 hours behind you by the time you read this.

Until the next blog then.
TTFN