Sunday, April 3, 2016

THE NO BLOG BLOG -- FIRST EDITION



April 3, 2016

A family from Russia is sitting beside of us -- grandparents, parents, kid -- and except for "schtoi" (what) I haven't understood a word.  Oh the sadness.

Well, we got on board the Grandeur of the Seas smoothly.  The first security agent we talked to knew exactly where the Pier Coordinator was, and within 15 minutes we were heading for the ship and stateroom 3007.

Let me tell you, this is the smallest cabin we have ever had.  I could not lay stretched out between the sofa and the dresser, if I wanted to lay stretched out between the sofa and the dresser.  And if the sofa were moved, there would be no room between my head, feet, and the other solid objects, should I lay stretched out between the dresser and the wall.  So, we will avoid laying on the floor.

There is 6 inches clearance on either side of our deluxe king-size bed (formed by two twin beds shoved together and some kind of covering placed over the crack from the two beds).  I don't have any difficulty scooting between the sofa and the bed to get in, but it is a chore for my bionic bride.  So she has devised a very interesting means of getting into bed.  She sits on the foot of the bed, swings her legs up and to the right, and rolls in, with her feet landing on the floor.  Exiting the bed, the procedure is repeated in reverse.  No, there is no video available.  But the cruise is young.

When the Captain made his noon report on our first day at sea he apologized for the delay caused by our stopping for three hours off the coast of Virginia.  We slept through it, but there was a medical emergency which required the transfer of a guest to the shore via a transport vessel.  A man suffered a heart attack and was attended by another guest who is an EMT.  He was relieved by ship's medical personnel and cared for in sick bay until the transfer.

The Captain informed us that we would be late getting to our first stop, Labadee, and to make up for it, we would stay later in San Juan and St. Thomas.  We docked in Labadee about 12:30 and all aboard was 3:30.  We will stay in San Juan until midnight and St. Thomas until 8 p.m. (original schedule was 9 p.m. and 5 p.m.)

Your favorite cruisers lathered up with SPF 70 and headed out into the Haitian sun.  We played on the beach and in the water for about an hour. Bonnie sat on some convenient rocks and let the waves wash over her because she sank in the sand when she tried to walk out into the ocean.  Bonnie gathered some seashells which security started to confiscate, and then said, "Go ahead.  Keep them."

And we bought our pastor a large bottle of Haitian hot sauce.

We ate at second seating the first night -- 8 p.m., but the matri d said he would get us Main Seating for the rest of the cruise, and he did.  The first night we were directed to table 325 and when we got there, the four chairs were already occupied.  The staff located a table for 10 with two empty seats, and we ate with an eclectic, but companionable bunch.  Our table for the rest of the cruise seats 6, but two of the folks came the first night before we got there and never came back -- I guess our reputation preceded us.  Dick and Marilyn are 79 years old, and have been married for two years (earlier spouses being deceased).  Two of the three meals we have eaten with them, Dick has forgot his reading glasses, and Marilyn takes over.  Me thinks she does a lot of that whether he has his reading glasses or not.

I met with Katrina the first afternoon to go over my talk schedule.  They had me down for 5 talks.  The first one was Thursday at 9:45 a.m. and the rest were scheduled for 9 a.m.  Because of a schedule change, the second talk was moved to 11 a.m., and the next day when I was not scheduled, the delay into Labadee opened up a time slot, and Katrinia put me on at 9 a.m.  I have 3 talks coming home, still at 9 a.m., but subject to change.

I am doing the talks in the South Pacific Lounge, where I've performed before when we've been on the Grandeur.  It is a great lounge, seating 250, and so far has been mostly full for my talks.  I am down on the floor where I can interact with the audience and that makes for better communication.

We took part in a Family Friendly Feud game.  We formed a 6 person team and lost in the first round.  Strange rules, indeed.  We stole the first question from the other team, which if we had been on TV would have won us the points, but in this version, we have to get all the rest of the answers (assuming there are more than one) or the other team can steal back.  They did.  We sat down.  Our question was the top 5 flavors of ice cream.  We missed cookies and cream.

There is a dance instruction couple on board -- Jerry and Ruth.  We took one lesson and are now proficient at the Fox Trot.  Back one two.  Back one two.  Left one two.  And there you are.  As simple as that sounds we are just as terrible as you would have expected us to be.  But we had fun.  My talking schedule has conflicted with their other lessons so we may never know how to Tango.

The evening shows have been very good.  A concert pianist who does the classics, but also can play like a rock musician led off.  There was a Tango production the second night with incredible dancing and a fantastic orchestra.  Last night's comedian was First name Last name, the third (I can't remember).  He sings and does impressions.  We saw him a couple years ago just after he had won the leading role in a biography film about Bill Cosby.  Needless to say, that film has been shelved.  And he said Bill Cosby owes him money -- he is thinking of suing him for sexual harassment to recover the loses.  Excellent performer -- he did Frank Sinatra, Ray Charles, Sammy Davis, Jr., Louis Armstrong, Michael Jackson, Prince, Johnny Cash, Elvis, Nat King Cole, and more -- I just wish I could remember his name.  Excellent pianist as well.

As I write this up on Deck 9, sitting across from me is a very large woman, eating ice cream from a very large glass, and drinking Diet Coke.

One of the ship's staff just led a Latin dance exercise class.  I lost five pounds watching them. And now I am consuming a vanilla and chocolate ice cream cone. And coffee, as soon as my wife gets up and gets me a cup, having just got up and gotten me the ice cream.

We have sailed before with the cruise director, John, and Katrina, the activities director, and John's wife.  We haven't figured out what ship, but we remember them.  Very polished, professional team, not the usual gung-ho get up and shout directors we often see.  This morning they led an interdenominational church service, and it was very good.

Now we are sitting outside on deck 9 in the shade. I am crocheting and he is blogging. It is noisy but pretty cool. We are supposed to dock in San Juan at 1:30. it will be interesting to see what is open since it is a Sunday.

So far our purchases on board have included two cokes, one ginger ale, a new necklace to hold my sea pass ( this is the third one I have bought while cruising since the first two broke), a pair of water shoes for David. The sand got into the shoes he had brought to wear on the beach and he was not happy. I agree I do not like sand in my sandals and on my feet. Oh, well if you are going on the beach there will be sand. The weather on the beach was very nice. The sun was not too hot and there was a nice breeze.     

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